I miss the sun, I miss home, I miss happiness... A strange and shocking thing happened today... I was reading one of the blogs I follow and the question of the day was what do you daydream about. And the first thing that popped into my head was "I daydream about a time when I felt loved, confident, and happy..." I really hope it is just the bad murky weather outside that is the cause here and not my life in general, because if it was true in general it would be really sad... Who knows, maybe it is true... Last night I was pretty much told that unless I fix a zillion things about myself, no one will ever accept me... Today I was told that somehow, somebody had overinflated my confidence for whatever wrong reason... So now, what can I do... I cannot give up, so I am on a mission to fix things. Some of those things, I understand... they are true... I let myself slip... somehow life took over and I ended up on the last spot on the priorities list.. more like I fell off the list altogether. But other things... I am not sure are fixable. So where does that leave me... Maybe alone... who knows... the future will tell... For now, I am just sad and hopefully somewhere inside I still have the power to fix things... but what about the unfixable ones? What if I am unfixable, broken, forever?
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