The Universe is Angry!

This picture pretty much describes my current mood. Last night I could not fall asleep, so for about two hours ('till 4am) I lay awake listening to songs on my mp3 player (so I wouldn;t wake up S, otherwise I would have watched TV... a wonderful brain numbing invention). I rarely take the time to really listen to the lyrics because most often I am really doing something else while music is just background noise. Last night though, I really listened. So many songs have such sad lyrics... Are so many people so sad and lonely all around the world? Why do we let it happen? One example, the Hallelujah song (the one they used in Shrek), might be a love song of sorts, but it is a heartbreakingly sad song which paints a very grim picture of what love is. Well.. might as well... fits my current mood. What I am scared about though is that I can feel myself shutting off inside, I can feel this big block of ice building up and the feelings just dissapearing... Maybe it;s self-defense, maybe it;s just getting older and becomming more jaded, more cynical. Either way... not what I thought my life would be... But I am often wrong, so maybe it's a faze, maybe it'll pass.

All I want to do is run to the comfort of my parents' house and be surrounded by love and familiarity. But it is all too far away, a very expensive and long plane ride away, one I cannot afford...